Tag Archives: Help

Let’s Talk About … Parents Struggling with Mental Health

Good Afternoon Munchkins!

Once again, I have another ‘Let’s Talk About…’ for you. I’m actually really enjoying writing these, if not for some advice for you, then as a little bit of release for me. At the end of the day, I did start this blog to allow myself to express everything I want to and I don’t see why it should just include beauty and makeup, even though that is still a massive part of my life.

Today I will be talking to you about Parents Struggling with Mental Health as my Mum in particular, amongst other family members, is really going through a rough time and, as her daughter, it’s quite difficult to know where I stand and what to do. Hence, I will be including different tips of which I have found useful, as much of a learning curve as it still is, and I’m still finding it difficult to know what to do about it. In saying all that, not everyone is the same even if they do have the same illness, so just try these out and if they don’t work, just try again, taking ideas from what worked last time. Like the gay parent thing, I’ve come to realise over time that this is quite a common issue amongst children and teenagers around the world, and that my Mum’s actually a lot easier than some other cases, so just bare that in mind.

So last July my Mum started seeking help from the NHS about struggling with mental health after feeling quite low and depressed for a little while; I didn’t actually know this, it was something I didn’t really notice because we weren’t getting along at the time. I only found out after finding a letter with the NHS logo on, which immediately gave me warning signs because that doesn’t happen to us all the time. Around the same time, my Granny was being tested for cancer and the rest of the family were talking about getting tested because it does seem to run in our genes, so I initially thought it was a blood test or CT scan for that; I also want to be tested, so, of course, I was immediately curious and wanted to know more. I then read that it was about mental health and she was being referred to the NHS support thing for that (it has a particular name, but I can’t remember it right now, I’m really sorry!). I was initially really shocked because, as I say, we weren’t that close so I wasn’t expecting it, but it did kind of make sense: she was in a dead end job which she hated, had a really manipulative, psychologically abusive fiance at the time, and her Mum was about to be diagnosed with the same cancer her Aunt died of. I just saw it as another lie/secret in the mix of everything else and, of course, I was angry.

I think what happened was she had a phone call with someone from the mental health side of the NHS (I don’t want to say specialist because that makes it sound like it was private, but it wasn’t) who asked her a few questions, and she got sent a letter with one of those forms which you fill in and the answers are according to numbers e.g 5 is most like you, 1 is least like you. I don’t know when she initially contacted them, but it did seem to all happen very quickly. Once she’d answered all these questions, they let her know that she suffered from stress and anxiety, the same as me. I haven’t be diagnosed, but I’ve been having panic attacks since I was 7, so I’m kind of taking that as my answer, particularly as they can’t diagnose me at my age due to hormones and the effect that has on my brain.

In the beginning, I was actually really angry because she’d been struggling for a few months and seemed to immediately get help, yet I was here 8/9 years later with no help and no diagnosis, so no validation for what I felt. I kind of get that with a lot of people who are diagnosed before me because I can’t turn round to someone and explicitly be like ‘hey, I’ve got social anxiety’, because it isn’t properly diagnosed or professionally recognised; I look as if I’m just making it up, which I’d never do. I was also very angry at my Mum’s fiance at the time because she literally sat there and said ‘get help or I’m leaving you’, which isn’t going to make anything any better. Considering she was on anti-depressants every day for 7 years by that point, you’d think she’d have a little bit more understanding.

So during July/August of last year, she was sent to these group sessions for people with mental health illnesses like stress, anxiety, OCD etc., and she really did realise she wasn’t that bad in comparison to others, but it did also help her a lot. If I remember rightly, it was like 6-8 weekly, hourly, non-compulsory sessions, but you were referred and, therefore, kind of expected to go. I think it covered things like mindfulness and how to cope with stress and other forms of coping mechanisms, some of which my Mum did take use from. I think she only missed one, maybe two, but she did complete the course of sessions. She was also put onto anti-depressants (Citalopram, I think?) whilst I was staying with my grandparents during the summer, so I was quite nervous to what I would go home to. I think they took 2 weeks until they reached their full effect and started obviously working, so it wasn’t like an overnight change. She claims they work for her, but she is kind of reliant on having 1 or 2 a day, depending on what’s going on that day and how she’s already feeling, and I now notice a more obvious difference when she’s not on them. There have been points where she’s claimed they’re not longer working and she can’t cope again, she is obviously the hardest part because you don’t know what to do; do you let them be upset for a day or risk an overdose? She’s a very petite woman so an overdose would effect her quite significantly, and I don’t endorse that in any way.

Right now, she’s actually okay. She’s had a difficult 6 months, as we all have, with the loss of both of her parents, and her anxiety has really taken it’s toll. The hardest day was when she refused to get out of bed and just cried, and I literally had to force feed her food I taught myself how to cook that afternoon. It’s difficult for me watching a woman who was so strong 2 years ago and I could once rely on become so small and dependent on the others around her. This is one of the reasons her new girlfriend has already moved in – I can’t cope with looking after Mum on her bad days, running this blog, and doing all my school work/revision. Luckily there aren’t many difficult days at the moment, but the whole family feels it when there is. As I did say earlier, though, there are so many people worse off than my Mum.

One of the really noticeable side effects I’ve come to realise since she was diagnosed/put onto her anti-depressants was how confused and fuzzy-headed she is. I’m kind of similar and I’ve been told it’s to do with stress and anxiety, but I think hers is kind of worsened by her anti-depressants relaxing her as much as they do. Obviously they’re doing more good than bad and I’m not expecting her to come off them just because of that, but it does mean that I have had to become so much more independent and kind of make decisions for her, which is kind of crazy at 16 years old.

I know there are so many people worse off than me, so please don’t think this is like a little sympathy vote kind of thing, because it’s really not. I’ve also collected a little list of things I’ve found that have helped my Mum, and would maybe help your parent/guardian/family member, though everyone and their mental health is completely different and individual:

  • Find something to calm them; my Mum’s is puzzles, but she can’t cope if they’re more than 500 pieces!
  • Feed them; even when they say they’re not hungry and how much they shout abuse at you or push you away, they will appreciate it in the end, I can assure you.
  • Let them know you appreciate them; this could be through cooking them a full on meal, or drawing them something, or anything you like to do that they know you enjoy and incorporating the things they like into it. This will just remind them that they are worthwhile and do mean something to someone.
  • Get them to do some little chores; my Mum’s new favourite is walking the dogs, especially with our 6 month old pup! This will remind them they have reason to be on this earth, and just getting them to walk to the end of the garden to water the plants can have a huge effect on them – that new-found Vitamin D from the sun will also benefit them massively!

And that’s it! I hope you have been able to take something from this blog post and it has helped you in some way – that’s one of the main reasons I continue to write these. If you are okay with sharing your story, I would love for you to because it really does help me out and realise I am not alone in this!

Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you Tuesday,

Rachel xx

Keeping a Smile On My Face

Good Afternoon Munchkins. Just as I turned my netbook on to write this blog post the sun has come out, typical! Still, I will power through (name that British sitcom) and keep you happy with a new blog post.

Keeping a Smile On My Face is something that over the past few months have got easier since I got better (last year I became depressed) and I love smiling, especially during these Summer months because as cheesy as it is there’s so much to smile about. I live by the sea so if I’m ever upset or a bit stressed I can take a 5 minute walk to the seafront and look over the sea. I do not, however, recommend this on a stormy day, that could have the opposite effect! This is pretty much my so-called ‘Happy Place’ as it were.

I know from experience that it’s easy to smile after crying even though the smiles mean nothing. If you just stop thinking about the negatives and start thinking about the positives than life does become a whole lot easier. For example, if you’re continuously arguing with your parents, at least be thankful they’re here or if your boyfriend broke up with you at least you have a group of supportive friends and family around you. Obviously if there is no positive substitution then there are things like Childline or Samaritans that will help you. When I was depressed I was thinking things like ‘Oh, you’re so ungrateful, you have perfect life compared to others, you have an amazing family and a great group of friends’ and that only made me worse because I felt bad. Please don’t feel like that, it will only bring you down more!

I know what you’re all going to be thinking ‘Oh, you’re only 13, how can you know all this? Why should I take advice from you?’. I don’t want to make you feel like you should listen to me but just that I am here for you as I am with anyone who is in need of help. I’m just sharing my experiences to show that you are in no way at all alone. At school when it was me doing all this it was somehow seen as ‘cool’ to self-harm and I actually know people who did it for popularity which I find completely sick as many of you probably think so it was either seen as nothing or for popularity which of course it wasn’t.

I didn’t get counselling or anything like that I just got out of the habit of crying myself to sleep and stuff like that and to get my mind off it I would do things I enjoyed so much more. For example you could try these:

– Reading

– Writing

– Acting

– Girls nights in/out (age permitting, obviously)

– Listening to positive music

– Excercise

– Weekend job

– Joining a club

– Start a blog (no hint or anything!)

I could go on for ages of ways to get your mind off it.

For me I just went on holiday with my parents and a friend and I couldn’t do anything to myself then so that’s how I got out the habit. I think the last time I cried myself to sleep from depression was the start of October last year which doesn’t feel that long ago but is still 9 months. I still get the occasional crying-due-to-hormones like most people but it’s just got so much better. Can I just say, we didn’t go on holiday because I was depressed it just happened to take my mind off matters. Also, I stopped listening to sad songs and decided to go for more upbeat ones and watched more Comedy (thank God for Comedy Central!).

My Summer Holidays start on Wednesday and I’m so looking forward to spending time with friends and family and going on holiday and just spending some well-needed me time. This time last year I would’ve dreaded being alone of fear of what I would do to myself but I’m so much happier. I’m also wearing shorts, dresses and skirts which were non-existent in my wardrobe, I just want the storms to go away!

I just thought I would quickly mention that Shout magazine are in the middle of their Project Smile (I think that’s what it’s called) and for the past few and upcoming months they’ve included tips and tricks on how to stay positive. I find this so fun to do because it actually gives me more ideas of how to spend the 6 weeks of lazy days. That’s only in the UK so I’m not sure if they do it worldwide or not. Sorry if it’s not.

Also, (this is going to sound mental after this whole blog post) this week I had my first proper/biggest panic attack so sorry if this is not up to standard but I’m still a bit shakey. It was because of Sports Day and then I thought people were judging me and I could hardly speak to the lady serving me in Subway today because of my lack of confidence. I will get better though, I should be fine come Monday or whatever.

As I say, sorry if this isn’t the best of blog posts and I will redo it if you want me to, but I thought it’s Saturday, the sun wasn’t out, got nothing to do, might as well upload!

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you soon,

Rachel xx

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Email Me: rachelkate01@yahoo.co.uk

My Last Blog: Be The Change You Wish To See In The World

 

 

Anger Issues

Good afternoon Munchkins! It feels like ages since I last uploaded but if you remember I uploaded early last week then I was on holiday, so you know. I’m not going to say much about it but that Primark in Liverpool, nearly fainted! I went at like 4 in the afternoon and it was still busy. Just saying, how do you people get around? Anyway, Primark is not the main reason of this blog post, it is about Anger Issues.

Cambridge English Dictionary has the definition for anger as ‘a strong feeling that makes you want to hurt someone or be unpleasant because of something unfair or unkind that has happened’. For most cases this is true, but sometimes people can get annoyed a lot more easily or just see red for what other people would see as ‘no particular reason’.

From a young age I’ve known of ‘anger’ because there was a boy in my year who had really bad anger issues and even though we were like 5 he would still continually get into trouble. I guess its one of those things, it’s just really hard to pinpoint where I learnt about it but I think that was it really. My brother sort of has Anger Issues, but it’s undiagnosed so we can’t be sure, as with most things. 

Anger is a natural feeling that everyone will come across, but only when it gets out of control or where the times when you’re angry can hurt yourselves or others is it time to seek help. There are loads of quizzes online but if you want proper help from someone who knows left from right, you go to a doctor. That’s not to say that quizzes aren’t good, but doctors make a judgement based on your history, family history, brain everything. Also, if they start due to hormones personally I think it’s worth getting help because your teenage years are like 5 years and that’s a long time to be suffering.

These are a few tips to help you if you have anger issues or anyone when they get angry:

– Recognise your anger signs

– Count to 10

– Breathe slowly

For long term management of anger:

– Exercise

– Look after yourself

– Get creative

– Talk about it

All these things have been seen as helping people with anger issues. If you believe someone you know or yourself has Anger Issues let someone know because it’s better to sort it out then just leave it. Also, there is no known cause for this particular illness. Like most mental illnesses there is no found medicine that will get rid of it but the few tips above should help.

I know this is a really short one that could be longer, but as always I’m open to questions so just email me or let me know in the comments. 

Tomorrow I’m going to see One Direction (cue mad screaming and lyrics to ‘You and I’) so I will not upload but I will upload next week.

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you soon,

Rachel xx

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Email Me: rachelkate01@yahoo.co.uk

Last Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/05/28/best-friend-tag/

Website I used: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/controlling-anger.aspx

Childline: http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

Cambridge Dictionary: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/

Mental Health

Good afternoon, Munchkins! Another help/advice blog post for you today, and this is something I’ve wanted to cover ever since I started this blog all those months ago. 

Mental Health is a range of illnesses but the most well-known are Depression, ADHD, Bipolar, OCD and Anxiety. I have suffered from some of these and it is said that one in three people will suffer from Depression or a Panic Attack I think it is and that’s quite a lot.

Last year I suffered from Depression when my Great-Nan died and that whole 3 month period is kind of a blur and a sort of how-did-I-do-it kind of thing. I know for some people that amount of time will seem like nothing and to others for my age (I was 12 at the time) it will seem loads. At the time I don’t think it really occurred how serious Depression is or can get and it should be talked about more and it shouldn’t just be hidden in the corner. Thinking about it, it should be the same for all Mental Illnesses.

At the moment I suffer from Bipolar and I know you’re going to say ‘Oh, it’s just hormones’. Let me tell you, it happens all times of the month and my mood swings are just extreme. It’s not extreme to the fact that one minute I will be trying to hang myself the next I’m bouncing up and down for no particular reason, but people are starting to notice and it can change like that. Just imagine I clicked my fingers there! Also, I suffer with mild OCD and I have mini ‘OCD Attacks’ as I call them. It’s basically if something in my OCD ‘plan’ doesn’t go right I have mini Panic Attacks. It doesn’t feel extreme or bad enough to be called a Panic Attack because I know people who have them really badly and I wouldn’t want to downgrade it to my version. 

All the different types of Mental Disorders (I did look this up, there are way more than I initially expected):

– Anxiety Disorders (OCD, PTSD etc.) (PTSD is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and OCD is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

– Mood Disorders (Depression, Mania and Bipolar)

– Psychotic Disorders (Schizophrenia)

– Eating Disorders (Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder)

– Impulse Control and Addiction Disorders (Addiction to drugs, impulse to start fires etc)

– Personality Disorders (Antisocial Personality Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder and Paranoid Personality Disorder)

(The next few are less common)

– Dissociative Disorder (Dissociative Identity Disorder (‘Split Personality Disorder’))

– Factitious Disorders (in which people will make themselves (physically or mentally) have symptoms to put themselves in the role of a patient or a person needing help)

– Sexual and Gender Disorders (Sexual Dysfunction, Gender Identity Disorder, Paraphilias)

– Somatoform Disorders (these individuals experience physical symptoms of an illness though a doctor can’t find a medical cause for them)

– Tic Disorders (Tourette’s Syndrome)

Other Mental Illnesses include things like Dementia and Alzheimers. 

All of these will need some sort of medical involvement or medicine. Recently my Bipolar has calmed down but I had no help during my Depression and my OCD isn’t so bad I actually need help. For my Bipolar I try to take herbal remedies you can buy off the shelf because I don’t want loads of artificial stuff getting in the way of other things I want to be able to do. My Bipolar was really bad after first getting over Depression but I don’t know whether that’s normal. I am a walking disaster really. Basically, if I stick to what I know or what I think will be OK, I’ll be fine. I guess you could say I’m a ticking time bomb, but you do get used to it over time.

There are stories of people getting over their Mental Illness which is a lot harder than a Physical Illness, I personally think anyway, and it is really inspiring. If you have suspected Tourette’s Syndrome or Dementia which is a bit more serious, then please go to the doctor. I’m so sorry I can’t help you personally with that, but seeing a doctor doesn’t make you weird or strange in anyway, it just makes sure you get the answers you need. 

There are Mental Illnesses like Depression which have gotten so bad people have taken there own life, but if you feel like you’re getting to that stage please go see a counsellor or tell someone because it is not going to go away if your contemplating suicide every night. I was never that bad, but looking back I think it was worse than what I thought of it at the time. 

Many people have got over Mental Illnesses though, like: 

– Zoe Sugg (YouTube Zoella, Panic Attacks and Anxiety)

– King George III

– Charles Dickens (writer, Depression)

– Abraham Lincoln (16th President, Suicidal Depression)

– Napoleon Bonaparte

– Adam Ant 

– Kurt Cobain (Musician, ADHD)

– Stephan Fry

– Paul Gascoigne 

– Florence Nightingale (Nurse, Bipolar)

– Sinead O’Connor

– Ozzy Osbourne 

– Jim Carrey (actor, Manic Depression)

– Robin Williams (actor, Manic Depression)

 

I know I’ve just made myself sound terrible at this, but if you have got any worries on this matter then please let me know my email or if you have any other advice for people write it in the comments because I think it would be nice if we could all help each other and not just myself. Also, I hope knowing that a whole range of celebrities have gone through it and still going should boost your confidence to try and get over it yourself if that’s what you’re going through at the moment. 

I can honestly say that if you really believe it and want to, you can get over it. I’m not saying it’ll happen overnight, but overtime you will notice improvements. This time last year, I never thought I’d be able to go to an Under-18’s Club, meet celebrites, set up my own blog etc. I started this blog to build confidence and ‘start again’ as it were. 

I know I haven’t said a lot but there’s so much to cover. If you would like me to cover a certain one then just let me know and I will get to it. Also, I feel like I haven’t given it the right amount of justice it deserves so I might do it anyway. 

Thank for reading and I’ll see you soon,

Rachel xx

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Email Me: rachelkate01@yahoo.co.uk

Last Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/05/24/how-to-wear-high-heels/

Website I used: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-types-illness

Zoella video (Panic Attacks and Anxiety): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4

Living With Bipolar Disorder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ne6GBqVDLU

The Truth about Depression (BBC Documentary): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5YubjEqbZ8

Self-Harm

Good evening Munchkins. Like last week with the Teen Pregnancy blog post it’s another serious one so please don’t say anything offensive to anyone, I’d much rather you send it to me than anyone else. 

It’s estimated that 10% of young people may self-harm in some way and although it doesn’t sound much it affects a lot of people if you don’t start stereotyping and just look for some signs. This time last year I began going through depression and self-harmed but I don’t now, just incase you get worried! 90% of people taken to A&E due to self-harm are due to a suspected overdose though most just stereotype it as cutting or burning yourself. It is said that girls are more likely to harm themselves than boys, but that’s only because boys are more likely to get angry and punch a wall or something. I know people who have burnt themselves and cut themselves with a range of things but overdoses are something I haven’t yet known someone to do. 

As with my Bereavement blog post I will write down questions and answer them as best I can, but I’m not a proffesional at this sort of thing. If you have any other advice then you are more than welcome to suggest it below for those that need it. 

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is an act of depression or suicidal thoughts about yourself which causes you to harm yourself in some way. This can include cutting, burning, drug or alcohol overdose as previously mentioned but also overeating, smoking, pulling hair, picking skin and deliberate bruising. This should not be confused with accidental bruises and cuts (e.g falling over).

Who self-harms?

This is where stereotyping comes in. Most people believe it’s just people who are bullied or emos or teenagers as a whole. No, just no. I don’t know of any specific examples but I’m sure there’s some people who aren’t teenagers that self-harm and I wasn’t bullied and I’m not a stereotypical ’emo’. I don’t mean to offend anyone but an ’emo’ is basically someone who is related to having black hair, pale skin, likes screamo music and self-harms. Some people want to be emo and others hate being mistaken for being emo when they’re in fact not. Some people just do it because they don’t feel there place in the world and it doesn’t have to have a primary cause. Also, just because someone does it doesn’t mean they’re going to be putting it all over FaceBook or shouting it out. I’ve only told a certain number of people and my parents found out on there own. 

The difference between self-harm and self-injury.

I haven’t previously heard of self-injury until researching this topic for this blog but it is the act of cutting/burning/pulling out hair etc (deliberate ways to hurt yourself) and self-injury includes things like over/under-eating (long-term/short-term damage). Again, these two should not be confused. 

Recovering from self-harm.

I recovered over time with my depression and eventually just stopped thinking suicidal thoughts. However, I know this isn’t the case for everyone. I would try and take your mind off whatever makes you depressed and spend time with the people who make you happiest. If the reason you self-harm is due to friendship problems then join a club that interests you. I know you’re out there thinking ‘well, what about counselling?’. I know it seems the obvious but I didn’t have counselling and if you really think you need it or other’s around you think you do then that’s when you should go for it. 

Dealing with scars.

My scars are faint but still there so I worry about what to say to people in the future if they notice it but if you have quite prominent scars but look happier you will come across stronger. Also, the sun gets rid of scars so sun-bathing could help! Even if you do eventually get rid of the physical scars the mental scars will always be there but if you use it in a positive way like I try to do then you can’t go far wrong. Everything that challenges you in life should make you come out of the end of it stronger because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. As cheesy as it is it’s true.

Those are all the pointers that I can give you but if you have any questions or queries then I am always here to talk, just email me and I will get back to you (links are below). I know this is going to come across wrong but I really like talking about things like this because it shows how far I’ve come and it is possible to come out of a place like this. Something that still upsets me though is that I’ve recovered and I’m fine but loads of my friends are still in that place and I’m just here like ‘Oh, well I haven’t had suicidal thoughts for months now’. I really do want to help you because I see how it’s affected the people around me and I know what it feels like to be in that place. 

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week,

Rachel xx

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Email Me: rachelkate01@yahoo.co.uk

Last Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/05/17/what-to-wear-on-a-date/

Teen Pregnancy Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/teen-pregnancy/

Don’t Give Up Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/04/14/dont-give-up/

Bereavement Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/bereavement/

Childline: http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

Self-Harm website I used: http://selfharm.co.uk/get/facts/what_is_self-harm

Self Harm Q&A (Sprinkle of Glitter) video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22_kotDLxdY

Teen Pregnancy

Good Afternoon my Munchkins! I hope you enjoyed my last blog post featuring Chummy C, as I say, if you would like me to do any more collabs like that just let me know and I will get on it. Today is going to be a deep/help-y kind of one (as you can tell by the title) so yeah, let’s get on. Just a bit of a disclaimer, this is something I haven’t experienced, but I’ve known or known of teen pregnancies and no pregnancy is a walk in the park but I think being a teenager would make it harder.  

The youngest mum in the UK gave birth earlier this year at the age of just 12 and the youngest dad (not the dad or her baby) was 13 when his daughter was born in the UK last year. I’m 13 and to have a baby would just be so overwhelming and scary, but why would you want to ‘do it’ at such a young age? What possesses you to do such a thing when you’re practically still a child yourself? It is kind of frightening that people my age are going around sleeping with people and the only thing on my mind at the moment is school and education. My Aunt had my eldest cousin when she was 19 which is considered a ‘Teen Mum’ even though she was 18 when she first fell pregnant, but until the age of 20 it’s considered a ‘Teen Pregnancy’ which is quite confusing but sort of understandable I guess. She has had 3 other kids since then and is 100% fine and never used it as an excuse. Also, she turned 40 yesterday, so happy birthday! 

When I joined the secondary school I’m at in September 2012 there was a girl there in Year 11 (15-16) who was a few months pregnant. I’m not going to lie, I was expecting it, I don’t come from the best of areas and you also see it on the news and stuff. Rumour has it she gave the baby away for adoption as soon as it was born which is really sad but she did have all her exams and a baby would not make it any easier. There’s also a girl who doesn’t go to my school but about 13-14 whose pregnant and in the year above me and school and another girl in our school in Year 10 (14-15) who we think is pregnant. What’s also worrying is me and my friends are on the watch for it, I know it’s not right but everyone says that and does it, let’s be honest. 

Teen Pregnancy can go either way. Obviously if you’re going to have sex you should use protection but it’s your choice if you don’t. It can either go really well or not. You can be really happy and excited or really down about it and end up giving the baby up for adoption like the girl in my school did. I’m not here to make your choices but you need to look at it from both angles, aside from all the baby clothes and toys. In any pregnancy you need to review your options carefully and in no biased way. 

As I say, I can’t really explain or describe pregnancy or teen pregnancy but here are some tips which I can only recommend:

– Review your options. Is it better to get on with your education and school life than having a baby to deal with? I know it sounds harsh, but would the baby be in the right care with you or trained professionals? 

– Explain yourself. By this I mean if you do give your baby up for adoption then explain why in a letter they can read back. It’s better to give people answers straight away then leave them asking questions.

– Get a counsellor. Every school or college should have one to go talk to or someone of that job profession thing (how professional). Talking to someone could really help and they’ll be able to give you much better advice than I could ever give!

– Tell your parents and talk to them about it. If your parents were teen parents as well then it might be easier and better to talk to them and their views on it. If your parents flip out like you fear then just explain everything to them and never get too stressed – not good for baby.

– Don’t go around telling everyone. Only tell the people closest to you or who you trust. There’s no point telling everyone because they could judge you. Hopefully they won’t but not everyone in this world is perfect. 

I really hope I’ve at least put you at ease if you’re in this situation or helped a little bit. If I’ve helped one person then that’s my job done. As always if you want to contact me with any questions or queries then my links are below. I know this wasn’t the best as some others but I’ve tried or at least explained to some people how it can be. Also, if you remember last week which was a couple of blogs ago I wrote about Cancer, I wrote a story for an English assessment and I got really good grades for it and I’m so chuffed. I was going to ask if you would like me to upload that during the week? I might do it anyway, but just wanted to get your opinions. If you have any other help or advice for people write it in the comments below for people to see. 

So thank you for reading, I’ll see you soon,

Rachel xx 

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Email Me: rachelkate01@yahoo.co.uk

Last Blog (Top 5 Films To Watch With a Boy with Chummy C): https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/top-5-films-to-watch-with-a-boy/

The Affects of Cancer Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/05/04/the-affects-of-cancer/

Childline: https://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

Childline (Teen Pregnancy search results): https://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/SearchResults.aspx?k=teen+pregnancy

Samaritans: http://www.samaritans.org/

The Affects of Cancer

Good Afternoon Munchkins. So this is the thing I was going to share with you that I mentioned yesterday, but if you don’t like this sort of thing then I’m sorry but tomorrow me and Chummy C are going to do a nice light-hearted blog. 

In the UK 1/3 people will get Cancer, which means everyone will be affected by it in some way. Already before this week many people I know have died or had Cancer including my Grandad who died when I was 5, my Mum’s Aunt who died when I was a few months old and my Mum’s Uncle who is still going, bless him. Many people when they hear that someone they know has been diagnosed with Cancer immediately think they will die, but that is in no way the truth. Many people survive from Cancer, even though it can have it’s lasting effects. For example my Mum’s friend had throat Cancer or something a couple of years ago and she needs to have these pills to keep her metabolism going. 

This week my Great Uncle Brian got diagnosed with Liver Cancer. It came as a huge shock and I don’t have many details, but Cancer in itself is not a good thing. Even though he’s family through marriage we’re close and I do like Brian, he’s a good ‘un. The thing is I’m not supposed to know but I got suspicious and got my Mum to tell me. His Grandkids don’t yet know, and I’m hoping he’ll come out of this OK and they won’t have to, but two of them are my age and we’re really close so I’m prepared to be there for them when they find out. I feel bad that I know before them, and I hope they won’t hate me for it because I don’t want them going through what I went through when our Great Nan died. The eldest is 10 days older than me and we talk a lot and I’ve kind of prepared what to say if Brian doesn’t come out of it even though knowing me it will come out completely wrong. If he doesn’t come out of it (*touch wood*) then he will be remembered as someone who is funny but also a bit of a tearaway, even now at 69. 

Obviously since my Grandad died when I was 5 I’m not going to really know what to do when the Chemotherapy or Radiotherapy starts because this is something I haven’t yet experienced. I know it’s going to be hard for the boys watching their Grandad deteriorate whereas I just have the one memory and some pictures so it’s not much to miss. As I’ve said I’ve planned what to say and I’ve got some tips of what to do if a really close family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness or like me knowing someone who will be affected by it greatly. 

Knowing someone who will be affected by Cancer:

– Don’t get too involved but offer help (e.g send them a message saying ‘I’m here if you need to talk’). 

– Try and take their mind off it

– Don’t bring it up if they don’t want to talk about it

– If they want to talk about it, ask if they want you there at places like the funeral or whether they’d prefer to be alone

– Always listen

 

Knowing someone who’s been diagnosed with Cancer:

– Again, don’t talk about it if they don’t want to

– Only talk/do happy things

– Make their time worthwhile

– Ask them to make a scrapbook full of their favourite memories (keep it cheerful)

– Always listen (it always helps)

 

Obviously I’d like to put some advice for people who have been diagnosed with Cancer or a terminal illness but I have no experience of this and wouldn’t like to offend anyone, so sorry if that hasn’t helped you at all. 

When you find out someone has been diagnosed with Cancer it can be really difficult and you might be feeling:

– Angry (This could be at the doctors, family who haven’t told you, yourself or no one in particular)

– Upset (Knowing you’re going to lose someone so close to you is never easy)

– Relieved (They may have other illnesses like Dementia so it might be better they died before they forgot who you were, if that doesn’t sound too strange)

– Overwhelmed/Shocked (It’s hard to believe that someone is an ‘unlucky one’ and they’ve got a terminal illness, but just enjoy the time you’ve had with them and spend every moment you can with them while you can)

– Anxious (This could be whether someone else in your immediate family may have it or what’s going to happen to the person who does have it)

 

When somebody does die it is really hard to deal with, and this is going to sound a bit like my Bereavement blog which I’ll leave a link for below, but you should never take out their loss on yourself. Here’s some tips on how to cope with a death. 

– Remind yourself of the good times you had

– Think that at least they’re not in pain anymore

– Never take it out on yourself (e.g self harm)

– Concentrate on the things they’d be proud of (e.g school work, career etc)

– Make them proud with the end result

 

As many of you probably know there are two well known books that address Cancer and they are The Fault in Our Stars and My Sister’s Keeper. I’ve only seen the trailer of The Fault in Our Stars and the film for My Sister’s Keeper but I want to read the books so badly. The Fault in Our Stars follows a teenager with terminal Cancer and My Sister’s Keeper follows the family of a girl with terminal Cancer so if you read both you get a pretty good perspective of how it affects everyone. I know some people will be like ‘Oh, it’s not a real account’, yeah, OK, maybe it’s not, but like The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas, the friendship between Bruno and Schmuel would never have happened but the Concentration Camps and what happened to Jews were real. Same concept. Both end quite sadly, but it opens your eyes so much. I’ll leave links to both of them below. 

I know this blog is a bit longer than normal but this is such a broad topic and there’s so much to say. Obviously if you want to know more about this topic just let me know either by writing in the comments below or email me (links at the end). If you need any help or have your own stories then email me (or comment if you want, but don’t feel you have to). 

So thank you for reading, I know this might not be easy for you to read or write about yourself, but with 1/3 of people in the UK alone bound to get it, it must be addressed in some format. I’ll see you soon,

Rachel xx

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My Last Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/05/03/how-to-deal-with-rejection/

‘Bereavement’ Blog: https://rachelkate01.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/bereavement/

Childline: https://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

‘The Fault in Our Stars’ Book: http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/john+green/the+fault+in+our+stars/9378186/

‘The Fault in Our Stars’ Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuVjGbncgQE

‘My Sister’s Keeper’ Book: http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/jodi+picoult/my+sister27s+keeper/9796822/

‘My Sister’s Keeper’ Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP4NxUFgFrs

‘My Sister’s Keeper’ DVD:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sisters-Keeper-DVD-Cameron-Diaz/dp/B002LL167C/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1399215023&sr=8-2&keywords=my+sisters+keeper

Ebay: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/My-Sisters-Keeper-DVD-Cameron-Diaz-Abigail-Breslin-Alec-Baldwin-/300934775376?pt=UK_CDsDVDs_DVDs_DVDs_GL&hash=item46111c4250