Things I’ve Learnt Now That I’ve Grown Up (Kinda)

Good Evening Munchkins!

Today I fancied writing a little chit-chat blog post about things I Have Learnt Since I’ve Grown Up. Well, at least in these past 15 years. Over these past 18 months I have had to grow up a significant amount very quickly and I feel that even though there are some parts of me that are currently just stitched instead of fully healed, at the time of writing I am level-headed enough to actually talk through it and how it has affected me mentally. When I was 7/8 I started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks and, even though it’s still there and pops up from time to time, I am gradually evolving into the person I’ve always wanted to be without it constantly hanging over my head. This is just a little list of the the things I have learnt and have helped steady me in terms of my anxiety which I hope help you too. These are things I have very recently realised but once I did it was as if a light bulb or a torch had been switched on and everything looked so differently (but so much better) once that had happened.

You Can’t Please Everyone

This was something that, even as a small child, would effect me massively. I don’t know why, but I have always felt a pressure to be the perfect everything for everyone and that I had to make everyone happy and if they were upset in some way it would come through one of my own faults. That, I have since learnt, is not the case. I’m still a bit of an introvert so I don’t always invite a large group of people over or hold huge gatherings so this shouldn’t really effect me as I ‘play hostess’ but I just know it has. I don’t know, maybe I was so used to covering up for my brother as a child that I would just allow myself to take it all. Anyway, the lesson I’ve learnt from this is that as long as I know I have done my best and reached my full potential then I have nothing to be upset or worry about myself. If people have a problem with you, that is down to them and they don’t deserve a place in your life. Treat that little metaphorical seat in your life like gold dust and it will ensure you only receive true gold for yourself.

Your Body is Your Body

This is something I’ve literally only just realised in the past couple of months. Since the age of around 6 I can remember being so discontent with my body and the way it looked. This probably (or almost certainly definitely) had something to do with my obsession with fashion and just comparing myself to the unrealistic bodies and images of models. I remember at the age of 7 trying to match my body to the different shapes they would show on the TV (like hourglass, pear etc.) and being so unhappy that I didn’t fit any of them. Okay, 7-year-old Rach, you hadn’t developed yet! Wait, your time will come! I can also remember saying from the age of 6 that I was on ‘a diet’ and that to me is just really sad to remember because I should’ve been doing whatever every other 6 year old was doing in 2007. Instead of climbing trees and walking along the beach where I live (which I’m taking full use of now!), I was staying inside because I was too scared of what people would think of me if they saw me. I acted like I was the Phantom of the Opera sometimes, honestly! I really don’t know why this happened though because I also became obsessed with Gok Wan who spread confidence like it was going out of style (I still love him 10 years on, by the way!). It was only recently when I realised that as a young woman (and eventually, older woman) my body is going to change a lot as I carry children, get older and just go through all the milestones and life things (trying to step over the menopause oh-so gracefully, there!). I’m still not going to walk down my street naked with all the pride in the world, but I now know and accept my body for what it is and wear clothes that emphasise the things I like instead of just wearing to cover up.

Pick Your Arguments

Being right and being argumentative are huge traits I have uncovered in the past 5 years, I would say, but I have also learnt to pick those arguments very carefully. I think it’s very easy for people who have these traits like myself to just ‘see red’ and go at full steam, when in fact the strength comes from holding it back and analyzing it’s worth and how you can argue your point better. I do stick up for what I believe in a lot, but I quite like thinking my argument through and winning because I bring in everything I could need (I have been known to bring in facts and figures when necessary). I no longer argue very much because the people around me now realise I’m not as small and shy as I first seem, but when I do it’s with well thought out arguments. I also need to be a bit more careful because I’m going into my last year at school so I can’t get in strops with people all the time and let that affect my learning or my grade (as I did with my science teachers that time). Just keep calm and keep classy!

There is Always Tomorrow

The final thing I’ve really learnt from being a child (as well as now, actually) is that there is always plenty of time and there is always a tomorrow. I think I do put a lot of pressure on myself to do a lot of things and I do set out very strict routines for myself because I know that’s how I work best, but at the end of the day, I am young and unless I unexpectedly get hit by a bus, I’m here for quite a while longer. For example, on this blog I upload three blog posts a week which is around 12 a month and it can get quite busy and quite hectic. I do tend to manage to keep my home life and my blog life and my school life separate but sometimes these overlap and that’s where my brain just explodes. Just remember that there are 24 hours in a day – I don’t recommend being awake and working that whole time but just know that there is always time. My issue is always my tiredness as well; if I’m tired I will just flop and not do anything!

And there we have it! I hope you have enjoyed this blog post – I love just chatting to you guys so let me know if you actually like them or not. Let me know what you’ve learnt over your life so far and if any of these helped you!

Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you Tuesday,

Rachel xx

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