Good Afternoon Munchkins!
Over the past 15 months, I have been in the company of my two new step-brothers who are 5 and 7. I got to know them before I knew they were to be my step-brothers (it’s a very long story) which I think helped the transition but even still, gaining step-siblings is difficult and a major life change. I never thought I would ever actually gain step-siblings so when it happened I was completely shocked and didn’t know what to do, so a guide like this would’ve really helped me. These tips are designed from my own experience so if you’re going through the same thing, I hope you can take these and apply it to your lives. No, it’s not easy, but hopefully this will make it just that bit easier. This is an on-going thing so if you would like an updated version at some point I will do that for you, also.
Take Time Getting To Know Them
My step-brothers have very different characters which can be quite difficult at times but it does help in the future to get to them well from the beginning. I learnt from the very beginning that they were very hyperactive but if you give them certain things they like, they will sit down and complete them. Like anything, you need to know what you are dealing with before you start so you can get the full picture in your head and the same goes for step-siblings. Also, whether your the oldest or the youngest or somewhere in between, this is still someone you are going to have to spend time with for potentially the rest of your lives so it’s just better to try and create a friendship or at least civil relationship from the get-go. I know it’s easier said than done but they are still people; they haven’t done anything to you so don’t just go at them like a raging bull!
Try To Treat Them Like a Biological Sibling
I know some may read into this in the wrong way, but I think it is quite important. Now, if you are a person who fights a lot with your siblings, maybe don’t take this approach but it is important to make sure everyone knows where they stand. It’s also that thing to not have favourites or anything like that so ensure that they don’t feel left out but also that your biological siblings don’t feel that way either. I think when parents get into new relationships, the children can feel left out and forgotten about so if you can form a friendship (like the first point) with your step-siblings, it could help this and even bring you closer together. Just care for them and trust them and don’t be spiteful!
Don’t Forget They Are In The Same Situation As You
Finally, and probably most importantly, they are going through the same thing as you. I know it’s easy to think quite selfishly in this situation but they are experiencing everything as you are so just don’t make it any worse for them. Parents splitting up and getting into new relationships is hard (fact) and people do react to it in different ways so if they do so in a really negative way, let them get it out of their system (whilst being sympathetic, it will get you brownie points!) then try and focus on becoming friends and all the rest of it. What’s happening isn’t their fault so whilst you might take it out on them, they really don’t deserve it, they haven’t done anything. Also, stay level-headed through all of this (I’ve just realised how calm I’ve been throughout writing this!).
And there we have it! I hope you have enjoyed this blog post and it has helped you in some way – I don’t feel like I’ve written enough, though, so if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask me in the comments. I’m not a trained person in any of this but I have had my experience so I will try my best to help you if you want my help.
Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you Tuesday,