Good Morning (am I still allowed to call you my ‘Munchkins’ after neglecting you?)!
Wow, three months this time, smooth move, Rach. I don’t want to make this blog like a diary, but I do sometimes feel I owe you some explanations and I’m sure if you’re anything like me (i.e nosey), you will just want it! I am planning a comeback (I know I’ve said that, but I have my days sorted, I just need to think about what I want to talk about) and I just thought I should give you another update. I’m in a bit of an emotional mood so this could drift/cause myself to cry over seemingly nothing but yeah. Relax, enjoy another installment of my life and look forward to the next few weeks!
I’ve just re-read the one of my last blog posts (‘Big Ol’ Life Update’ to be exact) and it’s already upset me. If you remember, that’s when I announced I had got my first boyfriend … well, we are no more. I know it doesn’t sound like much compared to others (we lasted 2 months and 2 days) but he was my first boyfriend and because he’s my step-mums brother I have to watch him grow up and get the millions of the girlfriends after me. A few weeks after ‘us’, he got a new girlfriend which really hurt. It seems to be once I’m ‘ok’ with one thing, something else happens; I was fine we had broken up (it was mutual thing, not seeing each other all the time was too difficult for us), then the new girlfriend came along, then I became fine with that, then his Facebook Profile Picture was him kissing his girlfriend (always a joy) but he’s changed it to him being on stage now, so it’s all good. I’ve now got over the fact I was just another to him, and I have made a friend through him so life’s all good. I might have another ‘potential’ in the works anyway …
Another thing I should probably update you on is that I’ve now stopped seeing my Dad. This was entirely my idea and I know I will probably regret it at some point, but right now, this is the best option for me. I was just sick of him telling my younger brother stuff (about his new place, his new job opportunities etc.) and I would actually dread having to see him, so I just stopped. I think my boyfriend was kind of like my distraction (not saying I used him for that, but you know what I mean) so when that was over it was like this massive tidal-wave of emotion and stuff. Also the fact that he once cheated on my Mum, though he doesn’t know I know that. So yeah, both my parents cheated on each other … fun times. I know certain things are going to become difficult like Christmas and birthdays and the upcoming anniversary of my Granddad’s death (it will be 10 years next April) and this could just be causing me more stress but it’s the only logical solution I have.
There have also been arguments with his sister as his friends and family who are friends with me on Facebook are basically going through our pages (mine, Mum’s and Maria’s) to get as much information as possible. Sorry, but I’m not ok with that. I will hold the door open as you walk out of my life, thank you very much!
The last massive life event is that my Mum got engaged! Yes, to her girlfriend and oh my Goodness am I excited! They have matching purple rings! This did upset my Dad, but as I say, I haven’t seen him, I don’t really need to worry about that (that sounded more harsh than I meant). Maria proposed by the Trevvi Fountain in Rome while they were on holiday and yeah, life’s all one massive rainbow! I’m really excited for their wedding, which is going to be in about a year and a half.
Well, what about me? Well, I’ve started seeing the school counselor to deal with my ‘issues’ surrounding everything, whether it’s working or not is another matter. I have had some really low points with everything going on, but there are also some amazing moments which I know I would’ve hated to miss out on if I’d listened to the dark voices in my head. I think if you looked at me, you wouldn’t expect to be so hateful towards myself because I love everyone else, but they happen in my tiny little head.
So yeah, that’s that. I’m now having second thoughts about publishing thought it’s one little button.
Well, thanks for reading, I love you very very much and I’ll speak to you soon