Good Afternoon Munchkins!
Today I thought I’d do something a little different but what I personally think is equally important to just another review. There are two sort of meanings to this topic and I’m going to start with the self-esteem part then onto the makeup-y side. Warning, this may become the deepest, longest blog post you’ve ever stumbled across. I’d get your dinner going!
(Pictures are from Facebook)
Teenagers and young people everywhere have at least compared themselves to someone else who might be skinnier/prettier/richer than them. I’ve also done that and have done for as long as I can remember. I’ve always been chubby (UK size 14 as of when this is uploaded) and one memory that has really stuck with me from my childhood is when I quit tap dancing because all the other girls were skinnier than me. No 7 year old should have to quit something they enjoy so much due to paranoia. I still am the most paranoid person you will ever meet but I’ve kind of got to a point in my life where I’m just really happy with how I am and I don’t get self-conscious anymore over things I would’ve 5 years ago. I know it sounds crazy from a nearly 14 year old but when you decide you don’t care what people think, you realize that they’re not constantly staring at the parts of you that you hate and that they’re not actually judging you. I’m not saying I love myself 24/7 and I’m happy with myself all the time because I’m not. My anxiety and panic attacks come from me thinking I’m being judged.
Certain people have helped me feel a lot better in my skin, people like Meghan Trainor, Louise Pentland and Gok Wan. Gok Wan especially I feel I owe to after everything I feel he’s done for me. From the age of about 5 I’ve been watching him on his shows like ‘How To Look Good Naked’ and I feel like as I’ve been watching him empowering women and that’s rubbed off on me in a way. If I ever got to meet him I would literally die with happiness. Everyone know’s my insane love for Louise and Meghan Trainor, but more recently they’ve made me realize that even if I am slightly bigger, so what? These 3 people mean so much to me it’s unreal.
Because I feel so happy with the way I am, I don’t feel any certain desire to start changing myself though I do like exercising. When I was younger I hated it and even though it is my preferred past time activity, the sense of pride afterwards makes me feel so good and I love it. I’m not doing it to loose weight, I just enjoy it. When I was younger (I’m talking from about 8-12 years old) I was ‘dieting’ and wanted to loose weight in any way I could. I tried exercising, eating less, eating nothing, everything but nothing worked, and I’m happy about that really. I’m a huge believer in ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’ so just because I wasn’t happy with myself then doesn’t mean I won’t be happy with myself in the distant future as I am now. I remember when Sprinkle of Glitter decided to do ‘Glitter Get’s Fitter’ last year and I was just so shocked and kind of hurt because my body confidence role model was losing weight, but now I understand. Haha.
I am still a little scared of things like what my future boyfriend or whatever will think, but you know what, if he doesn’t like that side of you, he does not deserve you at all. That is all part of you and you need a man who can take that in his stride and love it along with the rest of you. I’m going to be completely honest, the fact that Louise Pentland is married and has a child makes me so happy and gives me hope for the future!
Just for those that would like to know, the chances of me getting a tattoo that says ‘Sexy is an Attitude, Not a Shape’ in the future is more likely than me eating Dominoes again!
The second picture/quote I love so much. I’m pretty sure every school everywhere has a group of ‘popular’ girls. My school has one and if I was ever in that group, I’d want to change friends immediately! No offense to those in those sorts of groups but having that sort of reputation to live up to with being ‘perfect’ and all would just about kill me. I also believe in YOLO, so I’m going to enjoy life, laugh, cry, express myself, do what I love, be with who I love and love so hard you won’t know what hit you. I think everyone should live in that sort of way because you can’t take life too seriously. One day this whole Universe and all that we know will explode, and no one will care if you accidentally used lipstick instead of cheek stain, no one will care if your boyfriend kissed someone else under the mistletoe. Life is a game. It’s your choice whether you take the rewards or not. If you want to spend your life worrying about what colour your hair looks in different lights then go ahead. But while you’re doing that I’m going to be laughing and spending every moment I can without wasting it.
I, like everyone else, would like to be told they’re beautiful by their soul-mate (whatever that should mean) but I think to be told I’m unorthodoxly beautiful would make me want to give everything to that person. By being unorthodoxly beautiful, you are beautiful in your own unique way, that no model could compare to, no ‘popular’ girl. No one, it’s just you and you are your own meaning of beauty and beautiful in your own way. This is the best kind of beautiful you can be.
Onto the brighter, less deep side of this blog post:
(Pictures are from Facebook)
I, like the majority of girls on this Earth, love makeup. Some days I come home from school and immediately start playing around with colours. My blog (I would consider) only really became about beauty at the end of last year and I definitely prefer it that way!
The idea of being able to transform or create yourself for only an evening or 10 minutes makes my heart flutter. Someone once did makeup for me for a Drama assessment and it really helped get into character, I just love it. For some people, makeup is a platform where they just feel more confident. I used to be one of those people but I don’t wear makeup to school so all the people that I spend most of my time with know me with or without and love me either way.
I recently got really into makeup due to NikkieTutorials on YouTube. You’ve probably heard me talk about her before but she is just amazing, I love her. She made me realize that makeup isn’t just for going out or for the day. Her Halloween and Lady Gaga tutorials showed me it’s OK to show your mad side through makeup and express yourself through it. She’s just so God Damn beautiful as well! To work with her would be an honour and if I do get to meet her I will just cry all my makeup off so she can do it again for me!
I don’t let makeup annoy me that much but my eyebrows do annoy me, hence why I chose the quote above!
I love the second quote from Adriana Lima. It’s just me in a sentence – I don’t let people hurt me because I’m too tight to loose makeup over you through tears! Also great for those with boy troubles. I just wanted to use it in this blog post for makeup reasons!
I first fell in love with makeup when I was 10 when I asked for Model’s Own Makeup Brushes for Christmas. I use them to this day and they have never disappointed me! I then came off the high for a few years and just a few months ago I fell head over heels in love again. I think makeup is something that will always be with me looming in the background in whatever I do. Kind of like the relationship between Dexter and Emma in One Day. Am I the only one who thinks that? Yes? OK, moving on!
Now, whenever I get money, it goes straight to makeup. No questions asked!
I realize that I’ve written a like a million pages more on the self-esteem kind of section but I just feel it’s really important to tell you about the two sides of beauty. Both sides are so important to me and are always going to be great loves of mine but the first one I just felt had to be explained further.
This is probably one of the most honest blog posts I’ve ever written and I’ve really enjoyed writing it. I hope you’ve equally enjoyed reading it! If this affects one of you I will be so happy. Let me know in the comments your story with either sides of beauty and I will be sure to get back to you.
Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you soon,
*I tend to save pictures from Facebook on my phone from a page called ‘Crazy and Free’. I can’t remember exactly if these pictures came from that exact page but it might be! Now you are free to get on with your lives!
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