Hello my Munchkins. Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m sorry but I did pre-warn you that I would not be uploading last weekend but I did on the Monday, so, a blog per week. Also, I’ve added my ‘blog email address’ onto my About Me page as I’m blonde enough to forget stuff like that! I’ve been looking back and I’ve said stuff like contact me but you don’t know how, so I’m sorry, but you know where know! I’ll add it on the end of this blog as well.
This week and for the next few weeks I’ll be blogging on Saturday and Sunday, if things go to plan. This is purely for the fact I need to catch up on some stuff, or there’s two things I want to do on a specific weekend, etc. Tomorrow I’ll be doing something Mother’s Day related but I also wanted to do another blog as well, which is Friendship.
I’ve chosen to cover this subject as especially at my age and all throughout your teens you’re going to lose friends, gain friends and so on. I think it’s really important to know who is acting like a friend and who isn’t as I’ve experienced it (here we go again!) and I just don’t want people to become vulnerable or anything like that.
So I just want to make one thing clear: girls are bitchy. For as long as I’ve been at school (including Primary) I’ve been aware that so and so have not been getting on with someone else and they’ve brought the whole year group into it. I’ve at times been one of these people and it really makes me cringe when I think back to it.
The other day somebody said to me, ‘Oh yeah, when you were friends with her you were popular’. This really surprised me because in no way would I expect myself a ‘popular’ as it were and never have I wanted to. Sorry if you’re popular and enjoy it, but I know being popular would not make me happy. I became friends with this girl in Year R (when we were 4) and we were friends most of the time throughout Primary School so obviously I knew no different and we were friends for the best part of 7 years. I can’t remember when exactly but at some point she started teasing me and then it turned into bullying. I will cover bullying in another blog post because there’s so much to be said about it, but yeah. Things happen, people change and over time we drifted apart. But if she hadn’t started off bullying I wouldn’t have become friends with Courtney, so not all down days.
If you feel like you’re drifting apart from your best friend and you don’t want it to happen, just sit them down and talk to them. It’s the best way to deal with things to be honest. If you’re drifting apart and you think you would be better off apart then let it happen and find some new friends. Those are both things I’ve done and so far they haven’t backfired on me, so it seems like a good way to go about it!
Recently there’s been loads of things going round like ‘Oh, you’re third-wheeling’ and stuff like that. For those that don’t know what ‘third-wheeling’ is it’s basically being a third-wheel in your friendship group. I’m going through this at the moment and as much as you’re going to be jealous and want to hurt the person whose take your best friend from you, just talk to your best friend about it and if it keeps happening go and get some new friends. I’m not saying there will be no more Chummy C, because we’re working on it.
Can I just say now, if anything or anyone is majorly affecting you then speak to a counsellor, a trusted teacher or a trusted relative. I’m lucky in the fact I have a whole bunch of people I can rely on if I want to talk about something but I know for some that isn’t the case.
As with the blog I did on Bereavement I’m going to ask and answer some FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions, found that out from my brothers homework the other day. Oh yeah 🙂 ) and try to help you.
What does Friendship mean to you?
Friendship means being able to have someone who is always prepared for whatever you come up with, will help you willingly, support you, laugh with you, cry with you, be the person to tell you the hard truth as hard as it is and your cheaper version of a makeup artist/hair stylist/outfit creator. They’ve got to be a friend for life, not for a day, like that RSPCA advert (‘A Dog’s For Life, Not Just For Christmas’) and teach you things maybe even about yourself that you never knew.
Where are all my Friends?
Over time you’re friends might drift off and find new friends which is completely normal for everyone. If you find this happening to you, don’t worry, you’re not alone! Talk to someone you’ve maybe never spoken to (within reason) or become friends with someone you used to be friends with. Apologizing to someone who used to be your friend after a fight which was a while ago may seem pointless, but it works and helps so much. You’ll feel a lot better and you won’t be so alone.
My friend keeps spreading rumours about me. It’s really starting to annoy me. What should I do?
Do speak to someone about this, like a counsellor, teacher, anyone who you think can help. Friends making new friends and drifting apart is fine but bullying is in no way OK. Talk to this girl, maybe she’s having her own problems and dealing with it in the wrong way. Do not feel bad for something she’s doing. Find some more friends because once someone’s bullied you, it will never been the same between you again.
All my friends have got boyfriends and I’m starting to feel really alone. I want a boyfriend but nobody seems interested, how can I get in with the crowd and get a boyfriend?
Don’t ever feel you need to fit in and need to have a boyfriend when you probably don’t. If you’re in secondary school you’ve usually got coursework or GCSE’s on your mind and if you’re younger, you’re too young! Live life to the full! If your friends have boyfriends, good for them. If they’re spending all their time with them, that’s OK, but make sure you fit in some girly time as well. Have a sleepover, watch some good films, eat till you’re fit to burst do your hair/makeup/nails, everything! Don’t leave them, just make sure you all have enough time to each other, because in the end they’ll want you over boys, always.
My friends are acting all stressy and mean to me and it’s starting to get to me. Help?
If you and your friends are not getting on then maybe it’s time you found some more friends and move on. Life means chopping and changing, not staying the same all the time otherwise you never learn and never explore. Change can be upsetting, but in the end it can be a good thing. Don’t let people get to you, whether its your friends, sibling, other people out of school, just don’t let yourself get that low.
OK, so 5 questions about Friendship. I hope if you’re going through any of these things I’ve helped you at least a little bit. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any other questions or if you have any requests.
Thank you for reading and I’ll see you tomorrow,